We’re Married! … Now What?
While we’re all here for the romance and the party, the meaning and commitments, at its most basic level a marriage is a legal arrangement recognized by the state. Which means that, as unromantic as it is, you’re going to have to jump through the state’s hoops in order to be officially married. When we meet with a couple to plan their ceremony one of the first questions we ask is “Do you have a marriage license, and if not do you need help knowing how to get one?” While you obviously haven’t been dreaming of signing the marriage license in the same way that you have many of the other details of your wedding day, it is one of the few things that is actually absolutely necessary in order for you to be married.
So let’s say you got that box checked off and got the license from the county. After your wedding ceremony, your officiant should have made sure that the license was signed and filled out properly. In North Carolina the wedding license must be returned within ten days of the wedding ceremony, which is also your officiant’s responsibility. While they took care of that, you partied late into the night with your favorite people in the world, then you took off on an amazing honeymoon with your brand-new spouse— congratulations, you did it!!!
But now you’re home and you have to deal with all the things. What even are the things???
Time for a crash course on marriage certificates!
The papers that you got from the county before your wedding and that your officiant filled out are the marriage license. These papers mean that the county made sure that you can legally marry each other (you aren’t already married, underage, etc.) and is giving you license to do so. When the Register of Deeds receives these papers after the wedding, they put the info into their system, file the papers away, and issue you a marriage certificate. The marriage certificate is a fancy paper with the state’s seal on it that declares that you are a bonafide married couple under the law. This is the paper that you will use any time you need to prove that you are married— to the Social Security office, insurance companies, passport office, or anyone else who needs proof of your newly-married status.
In North Carolina the Register of Deeds does not automatically send you a copy of your marriage certificate, you are required to order it. A couple weeks after the wedding we always email our clients to let them know that we sent their marriage license in as well as to provide them with the link to where they can order their marriage certificate once it’s processed (timing varies by county, but usually two to three weeks). Some counties allow you to request the certificate in person or by mail, as well. Each certified copy costs $10, though some counties have additional processing fees.
Once you have your certificate in hand you’re ready to prove you’re married to whoever needs to know— if you’re changing your name this will be more people than if you’re not. The most common reason our clients cite for needing a certified copy of their marriage certificate is to submit to their workplace so that their new spouse can be covered by their insurance plan. It’s always a good idea to order one copy just to have on hand should the need arise, and if you’re worried about needing a few for multiple name change-related requests, three is usually sufficient. You can always order more down the road, just remember that you’ll need to order them from the county where you got your marriage license, which is not necessarily the county where your wedding took place.
Now that you’ve got your marriage certificate, it’s time to let people know! This step will vary from person to person: if you’re not changing your name you will likely only need it for insurance or other benefits associated with your newly-married status. If you are changing your name you may need to:
Update your name with bank accounts or other financial accounts
Request new credit or debit cards with your new name
Update other personal information such as with employers, insurance companies, etc.
Yes, it’s a lot, but you’ve got this! If you are looking for a way to make the name change process a little easier, Ms. Now Mrs. is a great service that can save you a lot of time and hassle at a fairly low cost— I definitely recommend them!
If you have any other questions, we’re happy to help answer them if we’re able to, just shoot us an email.
Best of luck, and congratulations on your new marriage!
- Rebecca, Owner & Officiant @Oak City Ceremonies
