Why You (and Your Guests!) Deserve a Truly Memorable Wedding Ceremony

We’ve heard it many times: “We just want our ceremony short and sweet so we can get to the part everyone is really looking forward to”, or “We don’t want to include anything special in the ceremony, we just kind of want to get it over with”.

We get it. We’ve all been to that one friend/cousin/uncle’s wedding where the officiant droned on and on and it was so boring that your eyes were glazing over halfway through and your mind was anywhere but present, in the moment, and enjoying something meaningful or special. To be completely honest, the ceremony is the part of a wedding day that many people just can’t wait to be done with. If you’re a guest, it can be a real bore. If you’re in the wedding party you have to stand in front of everyone, all nerves, and hope you don't screw anything up while someone says a bunch of generic words about love and marriage and you sweat in your fancy clothes. Fun? Engaging? Far from it.

Well, we at Oak City Ceremonies don’t think you should have to go through that, either! When clients ask us a question that begins with, “do we have to… ?”, we always tell them the same thing: there are only three things we have to do. 1.Your officiant has to make sure that you really want to marry each other, 2. she has to pronounce you as married/husband and wife/something along those lines, and 3. we have to fill out the paperwork correctly. Beyond that, everything is merely tradition or suggestion. So why are we tolerating boring, just-want-to-get-it-over-with ceremonies? If it’s really that bad why not just spend five minutes alone with an officiant signing the papers and then have a party with your friends and family afterward, no ceremony necessary?

Well, we’re on a mission to help wedding ceremonies reach their full potential. To be, in a word, awesome. We want you to have a ceremony that is a powerful, unifying experiences that will keep your guests engaged, bring both the tears and the laughter, and set a great tone for the rest of your night. Don’t believe that’s possible? Read on, my friend!

Photo Credit: Him & Her Photography

First off, let’s talk about why we even have wedding ceremonies.

The most important purpose of a wedding ceremony is to create shared meaning. You’re stepping over an important threshold in life and when that happens, we humans like to mark the occasion with some sort of ceremony. That’s why we sit through graduation speeches in silly robes rather than just getting a piece of paper in the mail saying, “Congrats, you graduated!” That’s why many cultures mark puberty or adulthood with coming-of-age ceremonies and rituals. And that’s why we come together when a loved one passes away and mark their passing in a ritualized, shared way. These ceremonies are not what actually creates the life transition, but they mark it in a way that gives it meaning and significance, and they allow us to share that meaning and significance with those closest to us. It can be a truly powerful experience that creates equally powerful memories.

A wedding ceremony is perhaps one of the most universal, well-known rituals we practice. It is a chance for you and your partner to publicly declare your commitment to each other and for your community of family and friends to witness it, pledging their own commitment to support the two of you in your marriage and your future together. A wedding ceremony that gets it right should leave all of you feeling closer to each other and more determined to work together to bless each other and your new marriage. It’s not just something that you come to to enjoy good food, plentiful drinks, and great company. It’s something you come to to be a part of. We feel each others’ feelings, we come together to offer our support, and we create an amazing memory of that feeling and that beautiful love that we’re celebrating. When you get that right people remember your ceremony and the way it made them feel for many years to come.

Photo Credit: Emily Carol Photography

The second purpose of a wedding ceremony is to entertain your guests. Beautiful, significant words are important to a wedding ceremony, but they’ll fall by the wayside if half your guests are asleep at the ten minute mark. What do we do to combat that? We make sure that your guests are having fun! Many of our Standard Ceremonies do end up being on the shorter side for this very reason: We are committed to not saying words simply for the sake of having more words or filling more time. We like to make sure that everything that makes it into your ceremony is intentional and meaningful. But here’s the real secret sauce: The Custom Ceremony. I’m not saying this because it costs a little more, I’m saying this because the Custom is legitimately way more fun— for you, for your guests, and even for your officiant! Why? In the Custom Ceremony we still have those beautiful, symbolic ceremonial elements such as vows, rings, and carefully thought-out words about marriage. The difference is that the bulk of those words aren’t just about love in general, they’re about your love. After interviewing the two of you, as well as a few of your family and friends, we tell your love story as part of your wedding ceremony. We tell the story of how you met, what your impressions of each other were, how you decided to get married and what you love about each other, and we tell it in a way that keeps everyone engaged and laughing throughout. If you want your guests to approach you all night (and often even weeks later!) just to tell you how much they loved your ceremony, this is the one. With the Custom, we guide them through your story, remind everyone why they came out to be with you, and show them what makes you so special as a couple. We get laughter, “awww”s, and feedback from the guests rather than just polite stares, so it’s a lot of fun for everyone involved!

Photo Credit: Veritas Digital Photography

The third purpose of a wedding ceremony is to set the tone for the rest of the night. Your ceremony is what kicks your whole party off, and it’s important that you send the right impression and set a great tone for your guests. We’ve been to ceremonies that felt too formal or awkward and didn’t seem authentic to the couple who was getting married. Afterwards, the guests just kind of wanted to forget that uncomfortable 20 minutes, but it took a while to shake the weirdness and remember that we were supposed to be partying. A great ceremony seamlessly blends the significant, even sacred feelings of your beautiful marriage with the laughter and lightheartedness of celebration. By the time you and your new husband or wife walk back down that aisle, hand in hand, everyone should feel so excited for the two of you and your futures together that they are eager and ready to celebrate your brand-new marriage! They’ll transition into cocktail hour talking about what a great ceremony they just experienced, and by the time you make your appearance for the reception they will be so excited to party with you! That is the power of a great wedding ceremony.

So do us a favor, will you? Don’t settle for an okay ceremony. If your officiant doesn’t plan to get a lot of feedback from you about who you are as a couple and what you want for your ceremony, then you’re signing up for a cookie-cutter snoozefest. There are a lot of great officiants out there, and we promise you will be glad you paid for a more premium service when you look back on your ceremony with pride and treasured memories.

Photo Credit: Sarah Sekaly Photography